Saturday, February 03, 2007

Proud to be An Aussie

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows ona Japanese TV.

Only in Australia ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Australia ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large friesand a DIET coke.

Only in Australia ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens tothe counters.

Only in Australia ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on thedrive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Australia ... do we use answering machines to screen calls andthen have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't wantto talk to in the first place.

Only in Australia ... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Aussies were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to emergency in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
And finally.... in 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

1 comment:

Shmeep said...

LOL this stuff is funny. To some of it I say: how true, how true.