Sunday, June 26, 2005


The past three days (and in fact... the past 3 weeks) have been so tiring but fun for me (for most of it anyway). The only catch is that I have been depriving myself of my sleep... and now i am so crazily tired that its not funny. Mum and Dad went on holiday on friday, and i was left to fend for myself for the past three days or so. Cooking food and having all the time and space to myself is great, but all the responsibilities like rubbish, cleaning, washing, checking power points, checking locks, etc. take their toll. Having a lan party at during part of this time, and going through the figs study, and preparing the figs activity was pretty stressful and busy too. But I got through, and it was worth it because 10 people came to the lan, which was really good, figs had a lot of discussion and stuff, and the activity was probably the best one i have led/organised ever. Now my parents are back, and i think i am grateful for it, as i can now sleep in and not worry about anything except sleep and more sleep. Luckily i bailed out of computer games after 3:30ish or else i would be near death right now due to sleep deprivation and excessive radiation.
Life as a whole is going OK. There are still times where i am feeling there is no hope, but i am holding up great. I'm starting to grab a hold of my life again, stamping out all the impatience and carelessness that has led to close calls and things i probably shouldnt have done/be doing.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

A Guy's Life

I've been looking around and keeping tabs on some guys who are younger than me, and now i think i can safely and surely picture a normal teen's life.

Year 1 - 5: Carefree, into all those kiddie stuff, starting to think about girls, realising what the internet is, joshi's perspective: a pain in the butt
Year 6-7: Study becomes a higher priority, still into the kiddie stuff, definately into girls, becoming addicted to computer games, too much red cordial, when in year 7 they think they are all that, and are on top of the world. joshi's perspective: luckily they dont worry much about life then...
Year 8-9: They realise that they arent the best, and are brought back down to earth, they start to realise life and its complexity (at times) and begin to worry about stuff, girls become a big issue for some (it's a killer, seen it so many times :P), They see refuge from their problems, mostly by playing computer games (this is not the sole reason why we play computer games ok!), School is so easy it goes off track Joshi's Perspective: I think this period and the next period are the most important in a guy's life. It shows them how they perceive life, their attitude towards life and how they respond to their problems. I was on a low during this period because of major friendship issues, and luckily i took an invitation to FIGS. that changed my life forever....
Year 10- mid 11: I swear, so many guys i see this age are infatuated with materialistic stuff. All i see in msn pictures are Boa Kwon (a really cute korean singer... she was a good singer until she released the stupidest songs ive heard), and other asian and western celebrities. They start to worry about their future, and this period is probably the decision making period. Will they pursue this or will they pursue that? Joshi's perspective: this was kind of a decision making period for me, or probably acting on decisions i have previously made (which i would put in the next period). I was baptised in this period, and i think i made that decision(that i would get baptised) in year 6 or 7, but never followed through until then. When i was young, i wanted to beocme an architect, and i began to follow through that ambition. Oh i forgot to talk about girls :P, lets just say i wasnt greatly affected, im sane and thats good :P
Year 12: I think that its hard for people to change things that they have already concreted in their life, and this is probably a hard bit in grade 12. People realise they can't fulfil some of their goals, so they try to find a way out, which is pretty hard at that stage. Issues they have previously gone through become ways of life, and they are able to deal with it better at this stage. This is a year of studying and showing who you really are. Joshi's perspective: not much more to add, except this is the year guys show their true selves, may it be in subtle ways or in full form. I have seen it around me, friends changing into people i never knew. This is where i think i will separate my true friends from just my everyday friends; the people whom i will spend my uni and work days with.

Anyway, that is what i have seen, and what i think a guy's life is like. An alternative is the computer nerd option ( i wont mention any names.... eeeeeeee :p just joking). Sometimes i feel sorry for them, as they live in their own virtual reality of silicon chips and graphics cards on a fragile screen.

I don't know what inspired me, but just take the info as it is!


Monday, June 20, 2005

Love Holidays!

Ahhhh now I can remember the relaxing feeling of the holidays. Nothing to think about except resting and having fun. No pressure of work or anything else. No people to get angry with. Thats the life! I slept in for the first time in maybe 6 months... had enough sleep for once :). Then I cleaned my room, discovering things i forgot i ever had. Stumbled on some stuff i did in primary school... so funny how much i have changed since then. Hi Fi on all day... I lanned my computers up... and played soccer on comp. Also made some funny soccer tricks with my beloved nike ball. Mum made pasta for me :P so NICE!!! i wish i could cook as good as she does. I wish i could feel as carefree as this every day. I got my report card today. It was pretty good. I didnt get busted by my parents (well not yet), and i was quite satisfied with my results. I got VHA for maths B, Physics and Graphics, HA+ for Maths C and Chemistry, and HA for english. I think i will survive grade 12 with a decent OP now. But who cares now. Its time to relax and have fun! Life is so cool when you appreciate the small things, and not think about the expectatations and stress of life :D I hope this carries on, i sure need some relaxation!!

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Time pasts... circumstances change... people change..

I have had the worst weekend of my life. Here's a bit of what happened:
On friday night i made a big scratch on my lcd screen. I totally forgot it was there and i accidentally whacked a power plug into it. I also kicked my foot 3 times, which makes it severely demented.
On saturday morning I was in a rush and accidentally ran through a pedestrian crossing. Luckily no-one was going through because i cannot remember much of it except there was someone that 'might have' crossed. I also got a stomach bug from uncooked meat.... which kicked in at FIGS, which was not too nice. During/after figs, i was reminded about some 'personal' issues, which was not pleasant to be thinking about them anymore. By that time I was already half dead, so i think i didn't really notice that until i was about to go to bed.
Today, some of the stomach bug was still apparent. I was really nervous when I was at church, because i had to talk in front of the audience for the first time. But i was able to clear my mind a bit, and refresh myself physically and mentally, which is pretty good. FIGS meeting went alright. It was a bit long, and not as productive as i expected, but then again... i expect too much from myself and others sometimes. At least we were able to put some things in stone, and sort out other things.
I don't know, but i think i have changed a lot. I'm not used to be being so careless and absent minded. I don't know what brought it about... but i hope i can rectify this change....


Tuesday, June 07, 2005

I just screwed my future

I just stuffed up my exams so badly. I think i stuffed up every exam, except for maths C ( i can't believe i got a better mark in maths c than in maths b!). OP for pharmacy = 0%. OP for Archi = 20%. destined for engineering or science... SIGH! well i guess i could think about theological college or something :P Anyway decided to make next term even more crazy by volunteering to be figs coordinator. Have to organise figs camp! God help me PLEASEEE. ahh well. better go get some sleep.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Update 4th June

Dear B~
This week has been really really tough. Every night I have done one term's worth of study, and luckily this has paid off. I've been living this past week with the flu, and sleep deprivation, which did not help much either. I'm so happy that I have finished these exams though... it's probably the most important exam period of my life so far. Today I went to working bee to help clean up the church. It was tiring, but I was glad to give a helping hand. It was proved that my gardening experience is much better than the likes of Jaye and Sel. My digging and planting skills were a class act :). Anyway, got stuff to do, stuff to think about, have to go.
I'll see ya later BBBBBB~!
Joshi =^.^=