Responsibility and Commitment

Over the past two weeks, I've been plagued with issues stemming from the basis of one's commitment and responsibility.

Firstly I think that the biggest difference between secular work and ministry work is that in ministry we all know about such things called grace and forgiveness. We all are imperfect so we're going to fail, and people around us are going to fall short, so we have to be understanding and bear with each other in love.

However, from an organisational perspective, I think there needs to be a level of commitment and responsibility from leaders in a ministry for the ministry to run adequately and effectively.

Commitment is a small word with a big meaning. It also means to pledge or to promise, and usually there is a commitment involved for people when they step up as leaders and team members. Each team member is integral in the planning for the team, and therefore a team member's commitment is crucual in that planning. For example, if a ministry needs 8 leaders in the beginning of the year, and they find 8 leaders who sign up full time, there is a commitment for each leader to be part of that ministry for the flow of the year or whatever period of time is mentioned, or else the ministry can't run to the way it was planned to. I think that yes we have to be understanding of people when they can't commit or they are unsuccessful in committing to a certain thing, but in a planning point of view, people should be up front, honest and down to earth about their levels of commitment. I know I'm a busy person that can't commit to going to Blokes Business (a men's fellowship group at our church) even though I support the group fully, and I have made that clear to the relevant person in charge, and he is understanding of the situation.

Responsibility is another big word in being part of a team. Usually every member has some weight to pull in terms of things they are in charge of, and each member has to trust each other that the other person is pulling their particular weight too. I think and hope I'm forgiving and understanding when people don't fulfil their part, and I do try my best to. The itching point in my mind is that in my point of view, people need to 'know' and 'find out' what they are and aren't responsible for. It could be miscommunication, laziness, or an honest misunderstanding that no one has ever rectified, or just plain stubbornness not to understand how things are meant to work. What I find more frustrating to deal with is not that people don't live up to what they are responsible for, but that they don't know what they are responsible for, or they don't want to change in order to be responsible for the right things.

I guess when it comes down to the end - we all have to be forgiving and understanding. We're all serving Christ and that's what matters. Lets just hope we all continue to move forward, learn together and understand people better.

Anyway... my rant is over :)

What happens....

When you fall over on a threadmill...


Don't know which is worse - dead Ipod or dead wrist hmmmmmm

Why I'm not going to Malaya Corner for a while....

I had always respected Malaya Corner and its food.... I showed my pride towards this asian restaurant because of its affiliation with Malaysia... EVEN THOUGH it was owned by Honkies (and the food ain't true malaysian food).

But after today, I'm not going back for a long time.



We were having lunch there and look what Elaine pulled from the bottom of her dish.... on the serviette...



Massively long hair...


My Noodes weren't cooked well at all... the bottom parts were still bunched together like how they are cooked, and still lightly coloured and cold. Also had a really weird aftertaste like it had been soaked in some yuck liquid.

Surprisingly I ate more greens than meat/noodles... haha...

To cap off a wonderful week.....

Realised that JOA (my car) got smacked by a stone yesterday sometime......



In other news, was so close to buying E this for his birthday.....


Can't you just imagine him playing this (with a wii board too)

Drained

I feel the most drained in a while... both physically, mentally and emotionally...

For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.

Age, Maturity and Respect

For the past 4 years I've had this on and off battle with supposedly not earning the respect from my peers... probably because of my age and their perception of my maturity. I've tried so hard from being a leader at youth group to participants older than me, to coordinating and youth group and also various other worship and youth teams, to learn to change from an immature 17 year old to what I think is a much more mature 20 year old (who still sees the light-heartedness of life).

But... this issue keeps resurfacing....

I've come to realise after being told on countless occasions by my elders that being old doesn't necessarily mean being mature, and that someone can still be young and act in a way which others can respect. My question is: Even if you show you are mature and that you have changed, can people change their thoughts and stereotype about you and translate that into the way they view and act towards you? Or will people just carry on, keep singling you out for everything, and viewing you as the one who doesn't know anything.

I guess the only thing I can do on my part is to keep running the race, with my eyes fixed on Jesus.

Do you know how it feels?

Do you know how it feels
To live life every day
Waiting to be noticed
In any particular way

Do you know how it feels
When you are all alone
No one to see or listen to
Or talk to on the phone

Do you know how it feels
To wake up to the bright sun
An exciting day ahead of you
Instead at the end, the day is none

How would you really feel
If your loved ones turned you away
They were your only refuge
The reason you chose to stay

Why do people live every day
Treating others as if all were the same
When everyone carries heavy burdens
Our suffering, hurt and pain.

When it all falls apart

Have you ever looked forward to something... something that u really really wanted to go to, or some event that u just really wanted to take place, or just a certain day to come... but when that day came, your expectation, anticipation, and all that excitement and hype was just torn to shreds? Not just torn to shreds... just totally obliterated. Your anticipation gone down the drain... but thats not all.. not only that something is gone... your future is just muddled by this unexpected twist of fortunes.
I am not a guy with huge expectations... and i'm sure there are many out there like me. There are times wen u just wanna smash your head on the wall out of frustration or disappointment... not because of your huge expectations, but merely because logic has not prevailed. Somethings that are straightforward become a tangled mess.
I personally have never experienced what it feels like when everything is falling apart around me... but gee... from what i'm going thru now... it must be a pretty bad feeling.

*sigh*

I remember the day we first met
Two months and three days ago
I knew you were different, special, unique…
And I didn’t want to let you go

Your presence, your smile, your laugh
Created complete chaos in my mind
It was like a distant dream come true
I’d found life’s find.

I don’t want to let you go
Never let you disappear
I’ll protect you like a priceless treasure
Won’t let you shed a tear.

Every day I’ll tell you
That you mean the world to me
I just wish for the future
Will we really be…

Will we really be together?
As the story begins to unfold
Will our relationship last forever?
Like in the fairytales we were once told.

I wish, I hope, I long
For the day when finally
I can tell you just one more time
That we will be for eternity.

Worst Draw Ever.

*sigh* I have the worst GC open draw in the world -_____-. First is BMS... this draw isn't too bad... okay first round... second round with kenny if i get through. Then its CMD... i thought this would be my good event, BUT they decided to make it groups and put me with the UQ people -_________- its not good... will be an entertaining match but my hopes aren't that high. What's more is that i only get 2 games or 3 max because i'm in a group of 3 instead of 4. Worst ever draw is BXD. Not because of my partner.... even though didn't really want to be with her (lol no offence) but the OPPOSITION! crazy crazy crazy opponents. Come and you'll see. I'm scared :( oh well.

Valentines... Real or Overrated?

Yes... the best day of the year, or the most depressing day of the year, of just another day.... has passed once again. This day has caused a stir among people: Is Valentines day a stunt by retailers and florists for more cash, and a public stunt to get people who usually are shy or embarassed, to give to the one they love, OR is it a lovely day where lovers do wonderful things for each other? Well... I believe it can be both! When i went to the florist on monday to buy a valentines gift for someone, I noted how inflated the prices were! They were absolutely crazy, although the rose looked awesome~ There were even packages for roses which cost a few hundred bucks! On the actual day, I saw heaps of restaurants jam packed full of couples having their nice lunch/dinner together. And guess what.. they slap an extra 10-20% on the normal charge! Also, i saw my friend who normally doesn't give stuff to people usually or at valentines, give TWO valentines presents! I think that if you loved someone, you'd prepare to give them gifts any time, just for a little suprise or whatever, but some guys just wait and wait til valentines to give gifts to their friends/loved ones.
At the same time, i think valentines can be a great day for couples and friends! Whats better than spending a day out with your good friends/loved ones and maybe being childish and having a nice candlelight dinner :) Valentines day shows everyone how much love there is in the world, amid the wars and troubles in this day and age.
For me, Valentines was an awesome day, not just because it was Valentines. I had lunch with a friend, then dropped off a rose at another friend's place, then went and watched the VB cricket finals with Jan, Wazza and Onie! Some desperate people sent valentines greetings via banners i.e. "Sorry hon, We'll do dinner next year" (there won't be a next year mate) and my friend wanted to put "Murali will you be my Valentine?" on a banner! oh well it was fun! Hope everyone had an awesome Valentines!

What's Commitment?

During the last fortnight, this topic has been in the forefront of my mind: what is commitment? Some people are commited to doing what is right, others are commited to do what is good for them, and other people are commited to what they want to commit themselves to. For me, and many people, especially those with an english background, have a commitment to what they say they will do, whether they like it or not. For example, someone invites me to a party and i tell them i will go. The day before the party, another friend invites me to their party. I would say no to him, and go to the first guy's party because i made a commitment to show up to his party when i said i would go. However, many other people, and i'd say predominantly asian, purely from experience, seem to think they can just say yes to everything and then make up their minds later, and rock up to whatever they want to. This, to me is not commitment. It may do justice to one person, but complete sells out another. How would my friend feel if i promised him a year ago that i would be there for his wedding, but not make it because i found out there was a party on that day a week before the wedding, and went to the party instead of the wedding because i thought the party would be funner for me. This has happened to me on many separate occasions over the past week, and it seems there is a disturbing but reoccuring pattern going on. What is commitment? Doing what you say you will, or doing what you feel like?

Wake me up when november ends...

I'm going to hibernate; act like a machine; think like nothing happened. I just feel like I want to hide forever from the world. Yesterday I summed up all my courage and asked (she who must not be named :P) to my formal. It didn't really go as planned, but I'll tell you guys that some other day. Anyway, apparently her valedictory is on the same day as my formal, WHICH kind of is really really really crap. Anyway, the day probably couldn't have got worse... then my cowboys lost the grand final, my liverpool team got thrashed by chelsea, real madrid won and kept a clean sheet, bali got bombed and God knows what else probably happened. Yeah... this week has been really crap, and i have a feeling the next few weeks are going to be worse. I just want to hide and get away from all this stuff happening to me. I have like 0% luck and it seems fate enjoys going against me. I just wish something significant would go right, or else its better to hibernate, or act like a machine that don't have feelings or emotions. Every glimmer of a high is met by a rock solid low, and this trend has been going on for like 17 years of my life. Either all the good times i should have are saving up for some spectacular future, or I'm just one more unlucky guy in the world. At the moment, I'd give so much for her to come to my formal, or even to see my team spectacularly win a game, but it won't happen. Someone remember to wake me up when November ends...

Show offs....

If you just got a bad mark for an exam and you feel pretty bad, do you want one of your 'friends' to rub it in? I don't think so. I have a very short tolerance levels for show offs... but when someone is feeling really upset, i don't think its a very appropriate time for people to boast. I just got a really bad mark (to me anyway...). This guy who did beat me by one rung decided to rub it in. He's always like that and i'm normally used to him boasting and showing off to people, but i was really upset, and so were a few others. I don't think him saying 'i did absolutely nothing and beat all of you's! Waa i'm so good'. If i was the teacher and i heard that, i would put his mark down like straight away. Things like that are uncalled for.

At least my marks overall are very consistant and alrite, so i can come back up again next term. Next term, i'm gonna study so hard, going to prove to everyone i am the real deal. Bye bye computer but i shall make up for a term of hibernation for you.

Joshi~

Where's the Security?

Following on my previous entry, I'd like to express my utter concern for the security of Australia. Because of our 'close alliance' with the US, and continuing support on the 'war on terror', Australia is becoming more and more insecure. After 9 11, Bali, Madrid, and now London, it is not a matter of if, but more when. The heart of the political world was hit first. Then the prime holiday destination of the western world was hit. Now arguably the most prominent historic and modern city is hit. America, Asia, and Europe has been bombarded. It's obvious there's one more piece to this global 'puzzle' of terror.

Even after recognising this, the measures of security in Australia as compared to London or NY are considerably less. Hypothetically looking at Brisbane, there is barely any security on public transport. Brisbane is the second largest city in the world (not population wise, but some comparison i read), with a lot of public transport. But there is no security on most of them. When i first caught the train, i thought there would be a ticket guy or someone checking things. However, i was wrong. Anyone can walk in with a suspicious bag, without any type of check whatsoever. Buses don't have a way to determine if a bus has been hijacked until it misses a few stops or loops, and that will be too late. I heard that the bridges on the brisbane river are a prime target to cause maximum chaos. if they were knocked out somehow, brisbane would be in disarray.

I'm not saying that brisbane is going to be the next target, but i'm saying that, quite frankly, brisbane's security is crap, and so is every city except for maybe sydney.
In this hopeless world, we must be vigilant, and always on high alert. Also, we must remember that God is always in control. His plan cannot be fathomed, and cannot be stopped by mere mortals.

I just screwed my future

I just stuffed up my exams so badly. I think i stuffed up every exam, except for maths C ( i can't believe i got a better mark in maths c than in maths b!). OP for pharmacy = 0%. OP for Archi = 20%. destined for engineering or science... SIGH! well i guess i could think about theological college or something :P Anyway decided to make next term even more crazy by volunteering to be figs coordinator. Have to organise figs camp! God help me PLEASEEE. ahh well. better go get some sleep.
Joshi~

My True Family

Today I have visited both the pinnacle and the deepest trench of my life. The highlight was my friends that came over for my birthday party. They all have contributed so much to my life, and since I feel that i am a people's person (i like being around people that genuinely care and are friends with me). thats a great feeling. The low of my life are some of the problems in my family. I have communication problems with everyone in my family (probably cos of age diff) and there are times when i am emotionally so low that i just want to run away. Thankfully, I have never gotten to that point, even though i get frustrated a lot, and when i am thinking properly, i know that my family cares for me even though on the outside they are all grumpy and naggy. However, what has kept my heart and soul going is my greater family: God's family. These people always put a smile on my face, laughter ringing in my ears and the feeling of care that i am blessed to have. These people are my real family, with my direct family, in the family of God. I am grateful for these great people, who sometimes give up their time for those they care for. Today, I was very upset because of these family communication breakdowns just before my party, and I was feeling the worst i have in the past 3 or so years. However, my great buddies that came to my party cheered me up, put a smile on my face, and like magic im on a high in my life. These guys are the best. You know who you are. THANKS LOADS!

joshi

Why do people deny themselves?

In my (so far) short life, i have seen many people who have great talent at different things, but they deny themselves, and put themselves down because they think they aren't that good. but why? Is it because they want attention? Or could it be that they strive to the perfection they can never reach? I don't know, but I think its very bad for yourself by doing so. I mean, what is the point of having a talent if you are never going to use it. Even the bible says to use your talents wisely ( the parable of the guys with coins). I know theres a point of overconfidence and ego-headedness, but I am sure people can work with their talents with that boundary. If you are smart, don't deny it, but don't boast about it. If you are good at an instrument, let people hear it, but don't dominate everyone else. I think people should use their talents for the benefit of all, working between the boaundaries of overconfidence, or piggybacking people (i.e. helping people too much).
In the past few days, I have heard people say they are dumb, when they are quite smart, and people who say they can't do things which they are good at, and people who are good at things i.e. music, but they don't want to do it.
If everyone denied themselves, the world would be at a standstill. No famous person denied themselves. Some of them went too far, but the fact is they were confident in their abilities. If everyone was confident in their abilities, without going overboard, the world would operate much easier. Everything would operate as it should, like clockwork.
But what I reckon people should do is not to bottle up their talents and abilities, and not to deny them. Just accept it, and use it within the boundaries, for the benefit of themselves, and everyone else.

Quit week?

This week's been really tough on me unfortunately... all this frustration about things and feeling like quiting. I can't believe how hard it is to organise things properly, and keeping everyone happy at the same time. You don't want to disappoint anyone, but you have to one way or another. It gets even worse when the people who you are organising things for dont like the things you are organising, and they get all annoyed at you for doing little things wrong. I was told to organise a band, but when i start organising all the finer details, all of a sudden they want to organise to get what they want. But i guess thats part of life and I got to accept that sometimes.

Tonight's figs study was pretty good. For me, it feels very good to understand other people's perceptions and thinking from just a few short verses. Its amazing all the things you can get out of it! The only drawback now is the kids aren't very responsive. Over time, that may improve, I hope.

That's enough for me, time for precious sleep :P